For The Record...

This is how I feel about my parents giving JennyandMark my coffee table. (The mug is where the coffee table is usually.) I might put piles of junk mail on the floor in the middle of the room in protest.

Why I Didn't Sleep Last Night

It is well-known among my friends and family that I don't like scary movies (well, okay, I don't normally like movies in general, but that's because I have trouble sitting still through the whole thing and get embarrassed for the people on screen -- to the delight of Lisa who has me watch a chick flick every time I go over to her house, like last night, so she can listen to me gasp, "No! They aren't!" when they main character does something mortifying like drunken bar singing or confessing her undying love to someone who doesn't love her back), so I understandably haven't seen a lot of them.

Last Saturday when Allie and I had dinner with Tesse and Amy, they'd just come from seeing Paranormal Activity and were very freaked out by it.

Last night I got home from Lisa's, got ready for bed, turned off all the lights and was about to go to bed when I saw an IM from Tesse. She saw Ragtime on Wednesday and I've been wanting to gush about it with her, so I ended up talking to her. The conversation went back to Paranormal Activity, so I read the plot on Wikipedia (thanks, Wikipedia!) because we all know I will never willingly go and see the actual movie. I'm still trying to get over my wary distrust of the big screen TV in our family room after watching The Ring and will probably never go to Japan after watching The Grudge. And that's about the extent of scary movies I've ever seen.

We're discussing the movie and she's explaining things to me in greater detail as I'm reading along. I just got to the end and she was elaborating on that when the dryer's loud buzzing timer decided to go off. In the complete dark. I made a mental note like, "so THIS is how it feels when your heart just stops," and had to sit there for a good 15 minutes breathing deeply so I wouldn't be too scared to go to my bedroom in the basement.

I finally felt my rational senses returning and went to bed (it was well past one at this point). As I was laying with my back to the door and moments away from falling asleep, I hear a shuffling in the hall outside my bedroom. The door opens slowly. More shuffling. I'm more awake now, convinced that I'm letting move over-active imagination run away with me I decide to ignore it. Then a hand grabs my shoulder.

My mom, of course, didn't appreciate my screaming, panicked reaction, but her timing to see if I'd come home was TERRIBLE. I'd been home at least two hours and she couldn't have come downstairs then?

Then it took another hour to get my heart beating at a speed that would allow me to sleep. This is exactly why I don't need David pranking me back, because I'm perfectly capable of scaring myself.

Things That Made Me Laugh This Week

Melanie: "This is one of your good qualities, to complete my song verses with the next line." Melanie was speaking to me only in song verses. It meant a lot of our conversations didn't get resolved.

[Anonymous](because Melanie said she needed to be)(on why she isn't excited for Thanksgiving with her in-laws): "The whole family tried to talk him out of marrying me, and the only one who stuck up for me is in prison, so he can't even come defend me!"

Cari: "I wish I could get away with saying 'badass' on the board so I could describe Atticus Finch. Oh, 100 Hour Board, sometimes you kill my soul."

David: "Do you think it's a little too formal to put a probation letter on cardstock?"

Melanie: "Why am I talking about throwing up? I need to talk about something else. Hurry, quick, CHRISTMAS!"

Alexis (because Melanie and I were trying to talk her into naming her baby Levi Percy): "Here's the deal, if Levi comes out looking like a pug dog, then I will name him Levi Percy."

Jenny: "I'm actually starting to understand your weird abbreviated Kristy-Lingo. That worries me just a little." I said "SD". I didn't think it was THAT weird.

Chance (making fun of people who make everything a "tender mercy"): "I just caught a green light so I can be extra early. Tender mercy joyful sigh!" I will admit that we spent a good portion of an online conversation mocking excessive spirituality and it was wonderful.

Dan: "Once I realized that what you say is not in any way a reflection of how you feel, you started making 100% more sense."

Jenny (after I told her a half a story involving a car seat): "I was a little worried that you had kidnapped someone's baby! Or worse, were carrying around your own empty carseat in some disturbing, twisted Chilly's World fantasy you might have! Glad to know it's just a normal explanation."

Jenny H. (after I made fun of her for being attracted to Jacob -- like from Twilight): "A guy with an eight-pack and huge biceps? Geez. It's a primordial thing. I'm programed to be attracted to that."

Chance: "The dude across from me is like 60 and has the top three buttons of his shirt undone. It's like looking at an apocalyptic version of the Great Plains."

Why I'm Afraid to Go to Work Tomorrow

I have a reasonably good relationship with those with whom I work, especially my two bosses, David and Ken. David, however, this week has been difficult.

It started a long time ago. We have another coworker (who shall remain nameless because I'm annoyed (in the mildest of annoyances, I assure you) at this part) who likes to hand me his binder clips (those black triangle ones with metal flippy things...) when he gets them on something. I take them to the supply room. Later he'll ask if I have binder clips and I say no because I don't use them so I take them to the supply room. I would think this is code for, "so stop giving me yours!" but it's not. Which is fine. Anyway, last week he handed me another. I stuck it in David's inbox (which is on my desk). David attached it to something on my desk. I attached it to something on his. All week long.

By Monday I'd forgotten about the clips. Around 7:30 my phone rang and I went to answer it. The phone, as I pulled one way, pulled the other and flew out of my hands and crashed back to the desk. I screamed, of course. Luckily it was someone who I've worked with a lot and we're friends so she could laugh along with me. Apparently David had clipped my phone cord in such a way that I had no cord.

The other coworker gave me another clip that day.

That night after everyone left, I crawled under David's desk and used my two clips to secure his mouse cord tightly under the desk so it had no slack.

On Tuesday David came in and tried to pull the mouse and it wouldn't move, so he just moved his mouse pad. I shook my head and felt cheated. However, he did keep picking up his mouse, pulling (it wouldn't give), looking at it and putting it right back down all morning, so that was funny, but still too lame for me. I took time to ponder a better prank.

Which somehow brings us to today. With the help of Melanie for the idea, Joanne for the distraction and Kate as watch-person, I went to David's computer and changed all his sounds from normal sounds to moos. He came back and was listening to Pandora when the mooing started, so he just thought it was a weird song. Later, though, the mooing happened when he got IMs (from me!). He went, "Kristy! What happened to my computer?" and I burst out laughing (because I can't hold in laughs). So he starts asking me what I did to it and I can't stop laughing. People were walking by to ask what had happened and to listen to the moos.


David couldn't believe I would do something like this to him. He called Dave, whose office is around the corner, who tried to help him fix it, but I'd done my job well, so it required more than one place to correct the sound.


Still trying to fix it. He eventually fixed the IM program to stop mooing but not everything else. I took pity on him after he had to endure a phone call filled with moos (why he didn't just mute the phone, I don't know) and fixed it.

But that wasn't enough. It never is. Later I went and turned his screen so it was displaying upside down*. David tried to fix it himself and discovered more mooing!


His completely unposed face of cow defeat.


David called Dave back and Dave just looked at it and laughed and offered to hold the monitor upside down so David could try to fix it.


This was about the point where Dave said, "Whatever you did to tick her off, just apologize for it." Absolutely.

So, while it was a productive day, I'm a little nervous to see what David gets me back with.

For the record, I set his screen right again. Also I had flipped Mark B.'s screen while I was at it and forgot about it. He went back to his office and a few seconds later I hear, "Kristy....you punk!" and remembered. There was a lot of laughing.

Also I might need to be on the lookout for Kali. Yesterday I was walking by her desk to talk to her and she wasn't there, but as I was about to go around the corner back to my own desk, I heard her talking and coming back. I jumped out of sight and scared her when she came around the corner. She screamed, people came out of their offices to see what had happened and Dave (whose office really isn't that close) said he wondered if he should go help whoever was in trouble until he heard laughing. It was loud. I never realized she was so jumpy!


And while this is not related to pranking in any way, Melanie's roommate's cat keeps eating her clothes. Which is also funny. And office-related.

*I would now like to thank Social Media (namely Twitter and Google Talk) for the inflow of great prank ideas.

On To The Shows

I was going to write a long, detailed post about how much I loved Ragtime and The 39 Steps and why, but...then I decided to just post pictures instead and let everyone imagine.

I will say, though, that they were both worth the trip alone, together it made everything perfect. Ragtime was great. I'd never seen it before, but I had heard Back to Before (Rachel York sang it at Bravo Broadway) which made me want to hear a few other songs and then I started following Ragtime on Twitter and I got all excited and...in the end, clearly I went to see it.

I loved the minimalistic set. There was maybe one scene change, everything else they brought on/took off with them or we had to imagine. We were in the third row which was even more wonderful because I enjoy watching facial expressions. I would, and hope to, see it again.

Mother and the Baron had SUCH great chemistry in the scenes they were in together. Sadly, Coalhouse and Sarah did not (we still liked them, they just didn't click for us). The Little Boy was INSANELY cute. Allie and I both found it well-cast.

Afterward we Stage Doored, which was convenient as the stage door is right next to the entrance.


In the tradition of terrible pictures of me stage dooring, here I am with Ron Bohmer who played Father. I promise it's really us (o: I'll get a better picture when I go back at some point in the unplanned future. He did stop and talk to us for a few minutes when I mentioned I was from Utah, though. He said he did some things at Pioneer and thinks Utah is lovely. Clearly he won me over and I will be a fan forever now.


Less blurry, but still not all the way fabulous. Here I am with Christiane Noll who played Mother. The rain had washed off all my makeup at that point (o: Clearly she is wearing a raincoat.


Allie with Quentin Earl Darringtion who played Coalhouse Walker Jr. He also stopped to talk to us (and the lady next to us) and was funny and pleasant. Funny, pleasant and chatty is a surefire way to my heart!


After Ragtime, dinner and street cart shopping, we found the theatre for 39 Steps (which was admittedly not hard as it was two blocks from where we had dinner). We had to take some daytime pictures on Sunday because I forgot to get any Saturday night. Oh, and Melanie, the theater was right across where Hamlet was playing. I waved to it for you.


Allie and I laughed through the whole performance. The people around us, however, weren't into it as much. That was okay; we laughed enough for all of them. Again on the third row where we could see expressions really well. It was a FANTASTIC play. I hope it tours to Salt Lake or somewhere I have a friend to visit who will see it with me. After the show we went to Stage Door but the door was kind of dodgy looking and no one was waiting around. We were the only ones. This is Allie asking if this is really the door. It was and we met the cast (all four of them) who signed our playbills. I told them I'd come from Utah and apologized for the lame audience. They thanked us for laughing (we were laughing REALLY hard) and told stories about the worst house they'd had. This was a time I was sad I didn't take a picture. Maybe next time there, as well.


Allie inside the door that we weren't sure lead to the stage door. It did! We won. But there were some moments of awkward doubt.


In lieu of pictures with the cast, here's Allie with the wall outside the theatre.


And me with more of the cast! Granted, there are four people, so one guy plays one roll, the lady plays three roles and the two other guys play hundreds of roles between them. It's clever and funny. Really, everyone go see it and laugh for me.


As we were walking to the train station, we just happened to see a big group gathered outside for Bye Bye Birdie. Seeing as we had an hour before our train left, we grabbed a program and waited with everyone else to get things signed. So here's Allie holding out the program to be signed (because I was too shy to tell actors who I hadn't actually seen that they did a great job. Actually, I'm too shy to tell that to actors I HAVE seen).


I'm going to guess he was a main person because of all the screaming, but...one can never be sure. The mobs clustered around him. It was amazing to watch. Poor Allie was in the middle of it while I was out taking pictures.


John Stamos! We got his autograph and I told Allie we could go (as at this point we would maybe miss our train). As we were walking away she asked, "Who is he?" It was a great moment.

So now I've had some stage dooring win to make up for the last trip's lack of stage dooring and am planning to take Allie to everything with me ever.

Adventures With Allie II

Last weekend with Allie was in D.C., but this weekend she met me in NYC for a day full of shows, street cart food and wandering (yeah, we were barely there a day and a half. I should maybe stick around longer next time).


We stayed with Allie's aunt and uncle who actually live in Connecticut -- a state I had never been to before, which is always fun. Their little boy, Garrett, was SO adorable! He was singing me songs that had hand actions. On Sunday morning Allie was eating an apple and made the mistake of putting it on the table. Garret grabbed it and started eating it. Allie told him it was hers and he smiled and said, "Actually, it's mine now." before biting again. I was laughing so hard. He is cheeky.


Allie's cousin Cici gave us piano, violin and vocal performances to accompany our breakfast. Her uncle made pancakes and it reminded me how I still don't know how to do that.

Baby Hughy. Also adorably cute. I think he loves me. We played with a wooden egg on the floor together.


Allie and the final cousin Gigi.


Allie and I took the train into the city which meant more time to walk around and enjoy the city. Even if it was overcast and rainy.


We found a fallout shelter. What more could we possibly need? Of course, we'll never be able to find it again...


I took a picture of The Waldorf Astoria for Melanie (because she calls me her Waldorf salad nearly weekly). While Allie and I were standing there, not too close to the curb, I don't think, talking, a cab went out of its way to drive into a puddle and splash us. Allie looked at me and said, "Oh no! We just became cliches!" I hate that.


Since it was raining so hard, I'd straightened my hair and wanted to pretend it could still stay straight and I love churches, we decide to stop in one. I don't know which one because we didn't pay that much attention. You'd think after a million Europe churches I'd be sick of them by now, but it's not true.


I thought about lighting a candle for Lauralee's soul, but Erin wasn't there and she's probably the only one who would have found me funny. Also I liked the angel statue behind the candles and probably would have taken the picture again with the angel in focus if there weren't, oh, people ACTUALLY there in various stages of worship.


We also met my friend Jena Tesse for dinner. Tesse brought her friend Amy and we had fabulous times eating Chinese, discussing Broadway and watching Tesse shutter every time she remembered Paranormal Activity. I actually had a really bad headache at this point, so I wasn't the most fun dinner guest ever, but it was nice to finally meet an online friend. I met Tesse because she wrote an article for Broadwayworld and I decided I needed to be friends with her, so I added her on either twitter or facebook and....there we go. New friend! Brooke is going to design me a chart that rates people on the interestingness of the way I met them.

I also like this picture because I had to bend down to be at her same level. I was the tall one!


Tesse took a picture of Allie and me. We should have had a picture together at the start of the day when we still had makeup on and our hair down. Darn rain.


During the two or so hours that Allie and I had on Sunday before our plane/bus left, we walked aimlessly around the city eating. Perfect way to spend a Sunday. We found the Times building on our way to the post office! Allie loves the Times building.


Anyone who has known me for some length of time knows of my strange fascination and love for the post office, so I made Allie come and visit it with me. After I got home, I got online and the first thing Daniel asked was, "Did you visit the post office?" Corinthian columns, I swear they win me over every time.

(It maybe sounds like we didn't do a lot, but that's because I wanted the shows to have their own post.)

Things That Made Me Laugh This Week

This was a couple of weeks ago, but I forgot to get it off my phone (texted it to myself so I'd remember). I fail. Carli: "I don't know if you noticed, but the only reason we voted for Jack Sparrow was the camera only focused on Jack Sparrow." We were at the Jazz game on Halloween and voting for the best costume and they kept the camera on these ADORABLE little kids dressed as Jack Sparrow. They were so cute. And that is how voting works.

Carli: "You could specialize in something; you could photograph mimes."

Allie: "Typically my goal in life is to be better than myself and/or my arch nemisis." She's very ambitious.

Carl (on a someone he and Allie thought I should be friends with): "He would either delight you or horrify you. Probably both. And you would love it."

Aimee (as we skipped church): "If you're going to ditch, ditch with aggression. Don't be wimpy about it."

Melanie (after I asked her if there was a Broadway Rockband): "I wonder how many guitar and drum solos could be in Les Miserables? But I would SO play that."

Jena Tesse (as I told her I needed a musical based on my life but the only problem was my life doesn't have much usable conflict): "Actually, this sounds suspiciously like a musical I was trying to write a few years ago before I realized I can't write musicals."

Jena Tesse (when I told her I need to date a tenor): "Pick a tenor? Sure, I know a bunch. I can't swear to the heterosexuality of all, but I'll put you in touch with them. I've dated more than my share." Kristy: "How did that work out for you?" Jena Tesse: "...Not all that great. But my wardrobe is faaaaabulous!" And that was the moment I decided Melanie would love her. Too bad, however, that Melanie is not coming to New York with us this weekend.

Kate (as we were discussing being able to sing the highest and lowest notes on the piano): "There's a tallest man and a biggest hamburger, why can't someone hit the lowest note?"

A Question of 8s

After spending a day writing employee ID numbers on a million I-9 forms, I started wondering:

How does everyone write their 8s?


In one continuous motion?


Or as two little circles?

Every time I wrote an 8 (and I had a lot of times doing that) I could hear my scary first grade teacher Mrs. Thomas getting mad at the kids who did the two circle way because it was not correct.

In either case, which is more popular?

Adventures with Allie Part I

I realized that I'm embarking on Adventures with Allie Part II tomorrow (Hello, New York and Ragtime!), so I should get part I in really fast.


Besides touring the capitol with Chance and Jenny (who were in SLC today and I got to give them a tour of the Church Administration Building -- some day I'll even post pictures), Allie and I walked around D.C. for miles and miles enjoying all the architectural delights my heart could ever desire (I hear that's just because I didn't make it to the ugly 60s building -- then I would have architectural horrors). Here is Allie in front of the Library of Congress. Some day I plan to go in and this time I will remember not to wear a belt (darn security).


I have an unnatural love of friezes and Corinthian columns.


After the tour of the capitol, there was a protest happening against the health care bill. Allie and I went to that for 15 or so minutes. I took pictures for my blog, she took notes for her job and then we left to continue on adventuring. Isn't the little protesting boy cute?


This was as we were walking away from the protest. It was actually really cool experience-wise. I met and saw all kinds of people and appreciated that we have the freedom to do things like that. It made me feel ridiculously patriotic.

Allie and I then headed over to the Cannon building where Chance works (because while we protested, they went and ate lunch) and saw Congressman Flake's office. I LOVE old buildings. They have such character. It's embarrassing to see Chance's office and then take him to mine in the COB that looks like it got remodeled in the 70s and no one's bothered to realize life and style has moved on since (or was better a couple hundred years before).


Chance had to keep working, so we took Jenny with us to get delicious cupcakes. Jenny thought I hated them, but what she doesn't know is I just bought them to eat the frosting off the top because that's how I am. I can vouch with sticky certainly that the frosting was delicious.


Allie and I parted with Jenny and headed to the International Spy Museum where, lo and behold, Allie knew someone working there (because she knows people EVERYWHERE! Maybe more than I do, even).


Since her friend was doing the spy mission thing whatever it was, we decided to do that. Her friend is a fabulous actress and adorable guide through our bomb-finding mission, but things like that (interactive) stress the snot out of me. I love being a passive participant at things. I'm glad we went, though, because aside from having to DO things, it was fun. And not only did no one die, but we totally rocked the mission.


We came out and it was dark. Since I wanted to see the monuments at night, we headed back over that way. I like to use the zoom on my lens so I don't have to cross the street to look at signs. This is one of many pictures I took from across the street to see where we were going.

I just decided that now I should mention how I know Allie because it doesn't fit in ANYWHERE with the story and I sort of like that.

Once upon a time Allie wrote for the 100 Hour Board (dun, dun, dun!) and a friend of mine filled out her dating application and asked her on a date and she agreed. Long story short, we decided to make it a double date but then he dropped out so she found a different date and I invited another couple and we all went to see The Osmonds 2nd Generation at the Conference Center. Which concert we still mock aspects of to this day. I love that sort of bonding, the kind that's mockable. And Allie didn't go out with her date again and I didn't go out with my date again and the other couple married each other and Allie and I have been friends forever -- the end. Which means I was seeing THREE internet friends (Allie, Jenny and Chance) last weekend.


Our first monument! Washington's! I'm sad it's closed so we didn't get to go inside. Next time, though (because I'm realizing there can always be a next time). It was night, so I thought it would be a great idea to be on f1.8 right? Right!


Then I took this picture of the Lincoln Memorial as I laid on the grass by the Washington Memorial. I wanted little stars, so I put the aperture on f22.


THEN I forgot I changed the f-stop and WHY were none of my pictures turning out and how is life so horrible? (I have ZERO good pictures of the war memorial. NEXT TIME!) Then I took this picture and realized 1. Oh no! Star effect! F-stop!! and 2. Holy snot, my lens is dirty.


WHEW! Fixed f-stop. Thank heaven! The first time I was in there, NONE of the pictures were turning out and people were getting pictures with their cell phones and I could NOT figure it out and it was maddening. I am awesome.


Then we walked by the water to get to the Roosevelt Memorial. It was a gorgeous night. Actually, the whole weekend had perfect weather. All for me!


And back home here's a picture of Allie's husband Carl because I did see him this weekend, but he stayed home Saturday to get the emissions test done on Allie's car because he's a good husband.

My Amazing Award

Once upon a time, Th. had a post on his blog about awards because HE got an award and asked if any one else wanted one. Of course I did, and here is what I ended up with.


It is, as advertised, my own tasteless award that is "more exclusive than a Nobel!"

I have never been more proud.

Touring the Capitol -- So You Don't Have To

This past weekend I was, of course, in D.C. (well, Maryland, whatever) to visit my favorite Allie. One of the main things we did on Saturday was metro into D.C. and tour the capitol. A few people mentioned they'd been there, but never inside, so with the help of my faithful tour guide and trusty camera, here is a picture tour! Sort of.


The start of our awesomeness involved playing MASH on the ride in. Allie looked at me and said, "What game should we play?" and I suggested MASH because that's clearly what 20-something year-olds would do.


I'm so a fan of this outcome. Also grateful I don't have to marry Edward Cullen. Granted, we only picked fictional people, so marrying any of them might pose a problem.


We found a capitol!


The entrance was underneath and through security. We went in and met my friends Chance and Jenny. Chance used to give tours of the capitol and was willing to give us one, too. It was might nicer because instead of a large group, there were four of us.


I saw this and thought of the Louvre. Everyone else was all, "Remember the part in that movie where he falls through the glass?" (was the movie National Treasure or The da Vinci Code? We were talking about both quite extensively).


This was me being the very center of Washington D.C.


The pillars are designed to look like stalks of corn.


They have little holes in them that are rumored to be bullet holes from the War of 1812, but since the British took the Capitol without firing a single shot, they're just iron deficiencies in the sandstone. I like the rumor, better, however, and choose to believe that instead.


This is the rotunda in the Senate wing.


From a different angle, the chandelier is rumored to be from a pirate ship or a brothel in Maryland. However, it actually came from a church on Capitol Hill before it was demolished. Again, I prefer to believe the rumors.


When we went into the room with the main dome of the Capitol, Chance told us we weren't allowed to look up until he told us to because we'd stop paying attention to him. He was very correct in that. The ceiling is gorgeous. Here is The Apotheosis of Washington.


Small detail (because I wanted to show off my zoom) of a scene called War. It depicts Freedom fending off tyranny and kingly power.


The entire dome. There is a roped off line on the floor (which no one seemed brave enough to walk through, so of course we walked through it and I didn't feel brave) where they put presidents' caskets for their viewings. This picture was taken right on that spot.


This is the ceiling in the Old Hall of the House or the National Statuary Hall. The House of Representatives met here from 1807-1857 and they have little markers on the floor where each desk was. Also, the room is a whispering room where you can talk in one spot and be heard in another clear across the room. I love designs like that.


That room was also filled with statues since each state is allowed to have two. Allie and I found Brigham Young. Utah's other statue is Filo T. Farnsworth (who invented TV), but we didn't find him. Allie and I had fun picking which statue person we would marry if we had to marry a statue in the room based solely on his marble representation. Great game.


Still in the same room, there is a clock of Clio, the Roman muse of history on the chariot of time. The clock is the wheel. Going out from 2 o'clock is Washington's head and it all stands on a globe with the symbols of the zodiac carved in it.


Chance's favorite room is the Hall of Columns. The capitals are tobacco leaves and this room has two statues of women, so the girls in the group were supportive of that.


The girls all agreed that this door was the best thing ever. Most of the words were broken up in odd places for spacing. Jenny said it reflected her personality. She gets so excited to do something, she forgets to plan the details. I could relate very well.


I loved the hallway in the Brumedi Corridors the best. The walls were beautifully painted.


Unfortunately the hall was only for members and staff, but since they don't define what you had to be a member of....


A gavel at the ready. I really wanted to go in this room, but I'm not actually brave enough to ignore Do Not Enter signs.


After the tour, we split up for awhile so Jenny and Chance could get lunch and Allie and I could protest on Capitol Hill (or something -- I mostly took pictures). Chance showed us where he worked so we could find him again.


Chance, our fabulous guide, and Jenny in front of the Capitol. The lady to the left of Jenny kind of flipped out and went all crazy in the elevator. I was a little frightened for her child. What a fun city.

And that is everything possible to see in the capitol...aside from the things I didn't take pictures of (o:

(Also, Melanie tells me she can't see pictures I post from Flickr, so they're all on Smugmug -- oh, and more! -- for her)

Things That Made Me Laugh This Week

Oh, hey, I'm going to D.C. this weekend (in about 10 minutes, even) to see my favorite Allie who ALWAYS makes me laugh which automatically means this weekend will be amazing. Some day I should maybe tell the story of How I Met Allie because it's one of the more amazing friend stories I have. Not today, however.

Kristy: "When I get to heaven, I'm going to have to talk to God about some things." Bridget: "And if it's about hair color, she's probably serious." I went over to Bridget and Dane's house and was complaining that I ended up with the wrong natural hair color (too brown, not enough red!). Dane didn't really believe me that I'm going to take it up at the Pleasing Bar of God.

Brooke: "When is National Breakup Day? It should be soon. Aw, January 11th."

Allie: "I will never name my sons those names, so I have to settle by naming other people's appliances instead." She was trying to name my car. I don't remember what we settled on.

Tianna: "Sleep is the New Pink!"

Kristy (complaining about something work-related): "Why is he so surprised about having to pay money back? I wonder if people do this to banks. 'You want ME to pay back a LOAN?'" Brooke: Um...OF COURSE THEY DO. Did you notice we're in a recession because of that?" Suddenly it all makes sense!

Cari (on her plan to get me married): "I shall take the picture of you jumping where you have no neck and the crowds will just FORM. Mass, even."

Daniel A. (on how computers work on Prince Edward Island without electricity -- because CLEARLY they can't be that advanced yet)): "Actually, I'm not really sure how this thing works. Prayer, I think."

Daniel R.: "Wow. I've seen Sleepless in Seattle and you haven't. Looks like I fail as a guy."

Kristy (after Brooke changed my status and I started getting comments on it): "Who is Sergeant Tina???" Brooke: "I don't know, but her name totally rhymes with Argentina! MAKING HER AWESOME!"

Melanie (discussing someone who is coming to Salt Lake to sing and I jokingly told her she should go and see him): "I heard him on TV once. I wanted to eat my own face." Kristy: "I don't even know what that means." Melanie: "Me either. Frankly, reading what I typed kind of unsettled me."

Josie: "I love your commitment to that scale." She has the funniest compliments (o:

When Jenny's Gone

I went over to Jenny's house tonight -- like I do EVERY Thursday now for months -- and found she was on her way out. That was okay, I managed to find something to do without her. I even feel okay posting about what we did because by the time Jenny reads it, I will be in D.C. and not here for her to call and say, "You guys are weird" in a disapproving way.

First, though....


I told MamaLynne I was going to post this picture for her to enjoy for the rest of forever. We were driving home last night and I wanted her to drive by the COB so I could get a picture for my PAD. She wouldn't but told me to take a picture of "that beautiful tree with the pretty light behind it." This is the exact picture she wanted.

So, Jenny's house.


Jenny's house is a land of peril and danger. The foremost being Giselle not always liking me. Or anyone who isn't Jenny. This is the glare I got when I walked into the room.


A different kind of danger comes from the dinosaurs who roam the kitchen and attack the legs of distracted aunties. The only way to keep dinosaurs at bay is by taking pictures or pretending you're going to make them eat vegetables.


Giselle can sometimes be placated by giant ball pit balls, but at a moments notice she will go into a ball-throwing frenzy. Her aim is getting much more accurate. Now all she needs is muscles to support maximum impact.


Mark, Giselle and Ziggy plotting what to do with all the balls.


Giselle decided to use balls as an accent for her hair.


I love when she poses. It's so rare!


Ziggy, despite what it looks, decided to hoard the balls. This was one of those moments I knew I shouldn't laugh, but failed. Same with how he was earlier jumping from the fireplace hearth to the lovesac -- which is not allowed. I hope to show this to his future dates.


Ziggy was being a mix between a camel and dinosaur with extra armor. Giselle supported that idea. Here you can see her handing him more balls.


Giselle wanted to hoard balls, too, but her clothes didn't fit as many as Ziggy's.


Giselle being a ball girl. I am reasonably certain that Jenny doesn't normally let them wander around with balls in their clothes trying to bump into things/people to prove how extra padded they are. Luckily, though, no ball lives were lost and I have HOPEFULLY maintained my title as favorite auntie.

Halloween with the Fjeldsteds

At some unknown point in my sister's life, she decided to become Domestic and a Hostess. This worked out really well for us as she wanted to have the family over for a Halloween party. Our neighborhood doesn't get many trick-or-treaters these days anyway, so it seemed like a great idea. Jenny had dinner and made wassail and appetizers and even organized crafty projects like creating pumpkin and spider cookies or eating graveyard dip. She even loved us enough to buy non-diet root beer (has anyone ever tried the diet kind? That is all kinds of nasty!).

She's come a long way from the time when Mark had to teach her how to make Macaroni and Cheese (yes, the Kraft kind) or when I'd visit, every last cereal bowl would be dirty because that's all they ate.

While those things were all fun and fodder for teasing, the New and Improved Jenny's house is much more delicious.


The thing I was most excited for this Halloween (and the reason I didn't spend Halloween in Salem, MA as I wished to -- because wouldn't that be amazingly fun?) was seeing Ziggy and Giselle in their costumes. I'd never had that chance before since we haven't managed to live in the same state/country for more than a week since Ziggy was born and that week wasn't Halloween. Giselle was a unicorn.


Her favorite thing ever is walking -- especially walking away -- so she's harder to get a picture of now. I'd try chasing her down and she'd turn. This means Jenny needs to have another baby (she's not, for the record) so I have someone new and immobile to pick on. Giselle, when you don't have a million Halloween pictures to choose from for your eventual wedding video, THEN you'll be sorry!


I promise she was delighted to be dressed up. She just didn't take too kindly to posing.


Ziggy, being less likely to scream when not costumed, was just a little boy when I arrived, but soon transformed into a scary leopard.


RAWR! He's also taken to racing toward my camera so the focus freaks out and hates life. And then, less fun, SWINGING at my camera when he's done posing. I think I prefer the walking away.


The only picture I have of the two of them together.


Aside from hosting and cooking, Jenny was in charge of passing out candy. We loved that she had that job as it meant MamaLynne and I could talk and eat instead while Dad and Mark took Ziggy trick-or-treating.


The only downside was this happened every. single. time. Jenny went to that door. Giselle couldn't handle the stress of the people and the door and the candy being given away.


She was happy again once we rerobed in unicorn and playing with Ziggy's toys (the ones he doesn't let her play with) while he was gone. I can admit to letting her do this because Ziggy can't read yet. I'm sure he'd be upset if he could.


Ziggy, back from trick-or-treating, making his crafty spider cookie. Jenny isn't as fun as our parents, she's rationing Ziggy's Halloween candy. Our parents never did that, which means mine was gone in a week (and then I'd have to sneak into Jenny's room and eat some of hers -- she CAN read but is old enough to get over that) and Jenny had to throw her uneaten candy away around Easter (she likes saving things and isn't a big fan of candy anyway. My candy drawer at work will attest that I'm not that way).


Ziggy and Giselle decided they wanted to decorate ME like a cookie. Using Legos as sprinkles.


Giselle also liked trying to stick things in my eyes. What an adorable child.


Giselle blowing me goodnight kisses as I left. My only regret? Not taking more craft cookies home with me. Jenny, I'm coming back on Thursday and expect cookies. Also, Jen, why on earth is your entry light green-tinted? It's so weird!

Things That Made Me Laugh This Week

Oh, look, it's Sunday and not Friday. I actually stayed in Salt Lake this weekend, but didn't post what made me laugh because some of the things that made me laugh were written on a piece of paper on my nightstand and every time I'd go down to get them, I'd lay down for a second and end up sleeping for twelve hours. It was a great weekend filled with sleep (and a lot of other things). Of course I am now feeling a lot better. Also like I wasted 36 or so hours of my life sleeping.

Annalissa (at our Relief Society activity about what our moms wished they had knonw when they were our age): "We'll have to teach our husbands how to do finance in case we die." I think the catch here would be finding husbands first.

Brittney (on "How do you not keep having failed marriages): "Don't get married three times; that's my goal in life."

Brittney (on how often to give gifts to marrying friends): "I have a one-wedding rule."

Erin: "I'm having an 'I'm 31 and single' shower. I mean, I need a toaster, too!"

Sister Bruin: "It was 1971, back when hair dryers were attached to a life-support system."

Melanie: "You can always opera cheer!" She used the surprisingly loud opera cheer at Wicked. I need to learn to do that. It carries a lot better.

Kristy (after Melanie turned GPS on her phone): "Now people can stalk you!" Melanie: "I know, now we can be found by the police." It was while we were lost with the taxi guy.

Melanie: "Zombies are the in thing these days. All the kids are doing it."

Allie: "I've been noting to my own self to look good at Allie's -- because I know you'll bring that camera and I'll have no escape." I told her I need to look good when I visit her next weekend so I can meet all her friends and leave a good impression. She had different reasons.

Jen: "I thought she was on Facebook and I was to do our experiment again, only to end in sadness and betrayal. I feel better now." We tried adding someone to FB but he turned her down. It was tragic.

Jenny: "He's kind of aloof." Kristy: "I wish I were aloof." MamaLynne: "Too bad you're a girl."

Jenny (on why Giselle is so good at taking her medication): "Well, the only way they can make this in liquid form is to add some alcohol to it."

Brooke also should get an honorable mention with an e-mail she sent me. We were talking about e-mailing boys and she created a form letter for me (for the record -- not that I feel this record needs to be made, but you never know what some people might think -- I would never in a million years use this e-mail).

Dear [Boy's Name],

Faith is like a little seed
if planted it will grow
Pray, he is there
Speak, he is listening
You are his child
His love now surrounds you
I see my mother kneeling with my family each day
I hear the words she whispers as she bows her head to pray

I want you to know that these sacred words epitomize my testimony and my potential nature as a divine wife and mother in Zion. I would like to be this for you, sweet [Boy's Name]. Please allow me this opportunity.

Love always,
Your loving future wife Kristy

And then Allie who changed her Facebook interests to:
"Lots of things--but mostly politics, good reading, current events, music, bioenergetics, performing, poking holes in the alleged global warming. Also, Kristy."

I love being Allie's interest!